This picture sums up my last 24 hours. When you embark on a new journey towards becoming all you are supposed to be, don’t fool yourself into thinking it will be easy! With 4 kids and 2 jobs, my life is pretty full. Last night was the first Wednesday night that I’m officially no longer the Youth Pastor for our church. I’m still helping out with fundraisers, organizing trips, keeping things running smoothly, etc. But the responsibility of preparing lessons each week and pouring into these kids’ lives each week is gone. Bittersweet, really. But I’m not Superwoman, and I’ve got to keep my priorities right.
Priorities…now that’s ironic! As I’m examining my life and beginning to fully relinquish control to my Lord, conflict and strife is knocking at the door. I planned to take last night off, just me and the Lord…the family would be at church which gave me about 1-2 hours of uninterupted time to spend by myself. I needed to do some cleaning in the house, get a grocery list & menu together, pray, and clear my mind of all I’m trying to process right now. Ah, if only my Pastor-husband could see what goes on in my little world. Let’s just say my decision wasn’t well-received.
Yesterday was the 2nd week in a row that he asked me to turn on the A/C at the church and I forgot. Obviously not intentional, but forgot nonetheless. If he wasn’t upset enough about that, he also was mad because he called my cell twice and I didn’t answer. Nevermind that I was at work when he called. I say all of this (and purposely leave out some details) to say: it’s my goal right now to rediscover the joy of serving the Lord. To rekindle my relationship with the Lord and break the bondage of legalism and appearances that I’ve let rule my life for so long. My service to the Lord is going to be for HIS purpose, for HIS glory, and by HIS leading. I’m not randomly serving or filling spots in the church, that’s not His will that’s mine. Peace, joy, and faith. That’s the destination. The road to that destination is certainly not going to be easy!
The Beauty of Being Still and Letting Go 