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EPHESIANS 4:29-32
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

I like sweet tea. I like sweetened coffee. I pretty much like anything…if it’s sweetened. Same with people, I like them SWEET! Let’s face it, it is hard to pray for someone who has spitefully used you, slandered you, or hurt you in any way.  Usually our prayers for them end up being self-centered.  We are so quick to forget that we don’t battle against flesh and blood.

The Lord directed me to Colossians 1:9-12 at a desperate point of our marriage when I was struggling to pray for my husband. Not struggling about “what” to pray as much as struggling with the “desire” to do so.  Even now, when I find myself wallowing in the pits of despair and self-pity…I am reminded to pray this prayer for those who have hurt me.

(COLOSSIANS 1:9-12a)
Lord, help me that I not cease to pray for _________.  I ask that (he/she) be filled with the knowledge of Your will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; that (he/she) may walk worthy of You, fully pleasing You, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in Your knowledge; strengthened with all might, according to Your glorious power.  Thank You Jesus for hearing my prayer.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

As you begin to pray this scripture over the “not-so-sweet” folks in your life, something miraculous happens. It’s like adding a sprinkling of sugar to the situation day after day after day after day. Then all of a sudden, without you even realizing it, the bitterness leaves. You might not think of them as a “sweet” person, and that’s ok. But YOUR thoughts/attitudes/words/prayers towards them are a pleasing, sweet aroma to the Lord and within your own spirit. And THAT’s really all that matters.

The elephant in the room…could it be ME?

It’s there, but it just kind of blends in with life!

Oh, the blessed elephant.  I wonder if this lady realizes everyone else can actually SEE the elephant?!  She’s tried so hard to continue on with life as though it’s nonexistant.  She’s probably wondered what in the world she’s doing wrong to cause it.  Yet not quite knowing how to deal with it, she neatly disguises it to just fit in with the rest of her life. PROBLEM?  It probably is noisy, it stinks, and it takes up the room that she should be using to do other things in!  Ah, now this is a photo I can relate to.  No matter how neatly you package the issues in your life, I promise you there’s SOMEONE out there who actually sees the elephant for what it is.  In my own life, I wonder who it is and what he/she sees.  Then I realize, it doesn’t matter because God sees it all.   It’s easy to become convinced that He doesn’t care, doesn’t notice, or that you’re just imagining the situation.  But ultimately, He sees it all.  He cares.  He notices.

My elephant has been in my living room for so long I’m not even really sure exactly what it looks like anymore!  It’s neatly packaged, strategically placed, and meticulously groomed to just fit right in to life as though it belongs there.   As a child of God, we are created in His image.  He never intended us to change ourselves, our environments, our plans, our goals, or the “decor” that makes up our life to fit around a proverbial elephant!  If we make changes, it should be to fit around His plan for us and according to His direction.  He never intended us to shrink down and let something else take center stage in our own life.  He’s prepared the stage for us, and we are to be performing before an audience of One.  How can we dance before Him in this life if we’re sharing the stage with our elephant!?

What is your elephant?  Mine is big.  Mammothly big!  I think it’s time to start stripping wallpaper.

Finding your hiding place

Even a fish needs a place to hide!

“For you are my hiding place;  You protect me from trouble.  You surround me with songs of victory.  The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.  I will advise you and watch over you.   Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.”  Psalm 32:7-9 NLT

Life in the proverbial “fish bowl” can really be overwhelming sometimes.  “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.”  That should really be our motto, shouldn’t it?  I often find myself trying to be who everybody thinks I should be, fill positions everybody thinks I should be filling, look like what I should look like, say what I should say, etc etc etc.  Yet sometimes I wonder if those expectations are really self-inflicted.  Perhaps those looking into the fish bowl really don’t expect me to be performing tricks, displaying beautiful colors, and transforming into something or someone else.  Perhaps they’re just admiring what God has placed in the bowl, and looking on with adoration.

There are certainly those in life and in ministry who are going to be critical.  Nothing you do will ever be enough and they’ll always be pointing out your shortcomings.  Just remember the Lord created you to fulfill a purpose only you can fill.  Trying to be everything to everybody will cause 3 things:  separation from you and God, a doubt and lack of understanding of who you are, and absolute physical, emotional, & spiritual exhaustion!!

I’ve done some online research, and it seems there’s really no reason to put a plant in a goldfish bowl other than for the fish to hide!  Why do fish need to hide?  When fish do not have places to hide, it causes a great deal of stress for them. Without cover, they will be trying to hide all the time and their color will be washed out. They will not be eating because of the stress and will be very susceptible to succumbing to disease and/or parasites. Fish without places to hide will be in very bad health; with plenty of places to hide, they will feel secure, and they will be healthy.  Think about it – if you were a fish, would you rather be out in the open with the lights shining on you or under some cover where you could rest a bit and feel secure?

No wonder Pastor’s wives feel stressed out, insecure, and often have health issues!  We live our lives out in the open under the bright lights, often times resenting it, and never find that hiding place of our own.  I have found myself trying to hide in many different ways over the past decade we’ve been in ministry.  I’ve “hidden” in my secular job.  I’ve “hidden” by shopping/eating/visiting nearby cities where I could just blend in and nobody would know me, I’ve “hidden” in my house and went through some anti-social times, and I’ve “hidden” within myself (which is probably the most deterimental of all hiding places!).  We are given a hiding place, a true hiding place…it’s in the Lord!   Why is that so difficult for us to grasp sometimes?!

When we’re constantly trying to meet others’ needs and expectations, our security begins to waver.  It’s easy to become “results-based” or “works-based”, and that’s NOT what God has intended.  Our security is to come from Him and Him alone.  Our quest to serve Him will lead us to meet others’ expectations and needs, as HE sees fit.  When we act in accordance with His leading and guiding, the results are on HIS hands not ours.  That’s a revelation that’s bound to reduce some stress!    When someone says “JUMP”, our response shouldn’t be “how high?”, it should be “Lord, would you like for me to jump?”  If the answer is yes, then we should jump with all our might!

Rest, security, strength … it all can be found when we truly find our hiding place within the fishbowl!